i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
