I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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