I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
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