Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I need a beard to bite.
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