Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
