i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
