Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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