worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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