she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
