Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
