Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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