the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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