I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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