I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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