first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
