you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
