I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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