please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
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