if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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