I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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