I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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