I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
