trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
