trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize