I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
