im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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