i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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