One girl and one boy is just not enough.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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