When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
