the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
