I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
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