just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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