Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
