Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
