Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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