Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
