so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
