I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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