It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
