so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Randomize
