nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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