she smelled like a LAN party
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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