dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
