Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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