i barfeds in our rink
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
