How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
