last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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