Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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