talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
