It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
