Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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