so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize