I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
