TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
