Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
