drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
