Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
